Understanding Death

How do we teach our kids what death is?

My grandma of 93 years passed away February 1st. We will all miss her very much and know that she lived a very full life. I am very blessed that both my kids were able to meet and spend time with their Great-Grandma. Peyton and Rayna are quite blessed. They have two sets of Grandparents, two Great-Grandma's, one Great-Grandpa and one Great-Great Grandpa who is 105.

I was trying to explain to Peyton, who is 31/2 years old, that his great-grandma, my grandma, had passed away . He either didn't have the attention span to listen to what I was saying or had no understanding of what I was trying to tell him.

I am noticing now in the last couple weeks since the passing of my Grandma that Peyton has been using the word die... a lot. He uses it so freely and doesn't quite understand the meaning of the word die or dead. I would like to find some way to help him understand or maybe he is just to young.

My cousin has a boy the same age as my son and her son seems to definitely understand the meaning of death. This maybe because his Grandpa passed away two years ago and his passing has had a direct impact on his life since he spent a lot of time with his Grandma and Grandpa.

Maybe Peyton can't understand it because Grandma's death doesn't really relate to him. He had spent some time with her but only about 3 - 5 times a year. I am trying my best to help to understand but most of the time he just makes me laugh because he is soooooo not listening to what I have to say. The craziness that comes out of his mouth has nothing to do with dieing or understanding death at all.

I was explaining the dangers of balloons to him today and how putting them in your mouth is not safe at all. I was telling him that he can't put them in his mouth because he could swallow the balloon and choke on it. I was trying to explain that Mom and Dad would be very scared and he could die from choking. I don't know if his lack of understanding and silliness is because he is trying to avoid and get out of the conversation or he really doesn't have the capabilities to understand what I am trying to explain to him.

Is my son ready to understand what death is?
Does he not want to talk about it and tries to be silly to avoid the conversation?
Should I want him to understand what death is or try to keep his innocence for longer?
Does the understanding of heaven make it easier for kids to understand what death is?
How do you teach about death but not scare them?